God& Man

The type that experiences emotional exhaustion we can’t even explain since we are expend so much time thinking and planning and overthinking and excuse and replaying scenarios in our thinkers pondering about different outcomes.

The type that has calendars booked and appointments determined months in advance. The character who has everything color coded and organized and on some listing that we ever seem to accomplish even if it means losing sleep to get whatever we need done. We’d rather do that than ever frustrate anyone or disillusion ourselves. The type that never says no to people. The character that is always on time or hastening to get there so we are, as we curse at red lights under our breath.

The type that stays up at night and doesn’t sleep more than 5-6 hours because our minds never stop racing. We replay the past like it’s some catchy true that get stuck in our head and we can’t stop. Fixated upon the past and people we might have wronged, wishing we could say sorry even if it wasn’t entirely our defect.

The type that ruins relationships so that they are able to even begin because we are so afraid of getting hurt again or produced on and messed with. Maybe we manifest our anxieties to become reality. Because we fret so much. We are the types who are so careful with everything we do and say like a single wrong text could ruin a potential relationship. The girls who sit by their telephone waiting for a reply and that minor interruption kills us inside. We answer quickly no matter what because that’s just what we do. We don’t play hard to get because that’s not how we operate.

The type that questions how someone seems. The character that needs reassurance even though that comes across as needy. We manage our expectancies by actually attempting to not get excited about a date because we know they can cancel last minute but at the same period, we are looking forward to it.

The type that spends lane too much time imagining why something aimed and was it our flaw. Replaying everything. Maybe we came on too strong. Because girls with nervousnes take complete ownership of everything even if it’s not ours to assertion .

The type that tries a little too hard sometimes. Cares a little too much. Has every best aim but is still figuring out how to express that clearly. We fixate upon flaws we wish we could change simply to realize this thing is with us and probably has been for a while now .

We strive for perfection beating ourselves up every time we fall short. The Overachievers. The goodie goodies. The one who ever excelled in things and everyone said we constructed it appear easy. Little did they know how hard we were on ourselves. How much sleep we lost to achieve these things. Our self-worth are established by our accomplishments and if we aren’t excelling or coming in first we consider that a failing . We associate happiness with accomplishment. But there’s this taunting voice that tells us we are bound to fail and lose everything we have. Then that dread triggers procrastination and we add more stress to our lives doing things last minute.

Wanting simply to be liked and accepted even though we fight greatly to be noted that within ourselves. We play it cool in a social fixed but under the surface, we wonder if what we said was stupid. We wonder if everyone is staring at us or is it only in our brain. We wonder if anyone even should wish to here.

Thinking we have to overcompensate to get people to like us so we try really hard and go over the top for people we care about because sometimes we wonder if being ourselves is enough and if that’s okay.

Triggered by the fear of people leaving. Because when they do we ever fall apart. Whether it’s friends or relationships we wonder why didn’t they bide? Why didn’t they care enough to? What could have done? And what can I still do to fix this?

Fixing things that aren’t even real difficulties anywhere else but in our brain.

The type who enjoys boozing once in awhile but frets we’ll overdo it saying slurred words we regret. We wake up reliving the night before swearing the drunk version of who we are is going to be what induces us lose all of our friends. It’s the moral hung over that’s worse than the actual one. In the moment we swear we’re fine because being drunk is the closest we come to living without nervousnes. But eventually that fades away and it’s back to the reality.

The ones who need things over-explained . The ones who sometimes necessity proof of what you’re saying. Not since we are don’t trust you but nervousnes induces us believe we can’t. Needing someone who is going to be two steps ahead of the guess we have and not be angry with us when we ask questions.

Ones who struggling with transmitting things but try so hard to say everything so clearly. Most dialogues will start with an apology. Something we believed long about. Needing someone who knows how to bring us down in minutes we start spiraling. Person who knows exactly what to say and do to pacify us down.

The ones who make up scenarios in our mind just so we are prepared with how we should respond just in case. The ones who anticipate terminates just so we are not amazed. The ones who expect the worst of everyone and everything and still strive to give our best.

The type who lacks confidence in basic decisions because we think too much about them. Struggle to find a balance of acceptance within us. We are our own worst adversaries and harshest critics.

Overcome with irrational were afraid that almost bring us to our knees if we think about it too much. The type of girls who meditate too much if we locked the door or turned off the oven and we can’t rest until we know the things that need to be taken care of are.

We think about the future. We dwell in the past and struggle to live in the moment. And we dislike ourselves for living like that.

The type who wants to control everything because this part of our lives feels so outside our control. Frankly we don’t trust too many people to do something right this is why we take it upon ourselves.

then things don’t go according to our programme or someone isn’t on time our nerve races a little promptly. We do a double a take looking at our watch.< strong> We uncontrollably break down because all we want are things to go right according to this plan we have in our psyche. And even though we nothing ever goes as schemed we still try .

And the root of these moods is just caring. We never want to hurt someone’s impressions or disappointment them or do anything that makes anyone else uncomfortable or unhappy. So “were trying to”. We try exclusively too hard and feel everything altogether too deeply. We watch a little too close to the things people say and how they act. We pick up on the smallest of signs that something might change. We detest change but we do everything in our power to rolling with the punches.

Whose favorite term is I’m sorry.

And as we struggle to accept this part of ourselves we’re in awe of those who love us unconditionally in the moments we think we’re unlovable and is totally irrational.

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